Mike Henderson

Negatives are Hard, But Not Impossible to Overcome

As the new year is now well under way many have discovered that the bad habits and negatives of 2011 will take a while to overcome in 2012.

Think about how hard it is to turn things around.  Here are a few examples:

1. I love donuts and even had one the other day.  But I know that I must limit my intake.  Just one donut probably costs me one hour of intense exercise.  Wow.  20 seconds to eat and sixty minutes to work it off.

2. Credit card debt is a national phenomenon.  One of the easiest things to do is spend money, whip out the plastic, and enjoy what we can purchase on credit.  Moments or even days of fun can take years to pay off.

3. In a marital relationship, the highly respected John Gottman suggests that for every negative it takes several positves to overcome.  He says "men tend to have shorter fuses and longer-lasting explosions than women."  As I read that I realize men may have the harder job, because they may have more negatives to overcome.  Some even estimate that it takes as many as twenty positives to overcome just one negative.

4. In church world it is not uncommon for people to begin reading their Bible, only to get stuck by mid-summer.  Then around December they try to catch up, all in vain.

5. If you have a garden you understand how much work weeds demand from you.

6. How about your lawn?  I enjoy push mowing.  However, if I allow the grass to get too tall, I must mow at a much slower rate.  And that raises my frustration level.  That leads me to talk to myself while mowing and asking, "Why did I wait this long?"

In fact, we ask why a lot.

Why did I wait so long before I weeded my garden?

Why did I make that big purchase on an impulse?

Why did I get so upset with my spouse?

All of those whys remind us that negatives are hard to overcome.  However, it is possible.  On the other hand, it sure would be nice to avoid all those regrets by focusing on the positive on the front end.  Life would be so much different.

What is a Win?

What is a win?  Everyone at some point must identify what success is for him or her personally.  

 

 

 

The Ultimate Test of Friendship

While books have been written on friendship, one quality stands head and shoulders above all others.

Here it is:  Friends walk in when others walk out.  Simple, but powerful.

One simple word: Loyalty.

Proverbs 17:17 (NIV)   A friend loves at all times,
   and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

When life gets tough and throws you a curve, look around.  Who is still standing with you?  Those are your real friends. 

On the other hand, who in your life is swimming in some rough waters?  Don't bail.  Jump in and swim with them. 

Loyalty.  Simple.  The ultimate friendship factor.

 

Do You Make Those Around You Better?

As a kid growing up my best friend, Neal, was loyal, an encourager, and he helped me improve my hitting in baseball.  Perhaps that experience led me to believe that everyone wants to make those around them better.

Now as an adult I realize that is not always the case, but I like to think about the positive people I have known or read about.

When my dad went to work with a guy named Bill Butts, my dad made him better.  A business that was bankrupt turned into a profitable company.  

Recently my dad and I were talking about old times a little, and he said it was amazing he ever made it in business.  Hiring good help was always a challenge, but my dad had several men who made him better.  He even had a phenomenal secretary who made him better.

The same thing holds true in sports.  A few years ago a wide receiver, Ronnie White, was drafted by the Atlanta Falcons.  After two years he was considered a bust.  That is until Matt Ryan became the quarterback.  Now Ronnie White is a Pro Bowl football player.  Matt Ryan made him better.

Michael Jordan will go down as the greatest basketball player of all time.  But it is hard to think of Jordan without also thinking of Scottie Pipen.  They both made each other better.  Iron truely does sharpen iron.

Without a doubt Carol has made me better, by a long shot. 

Everywhere we look we see examples of people who made others better. 

Look around.  Who are you making better?

Winning is More Fun than Drama

Some gravitate to drama.  After all, TV viewers love to watch drama on the big screen.  Drama sells.  However, it can be devastating in an organization and even in the home.

Think about what it would be like if every time as a teenager you came home your parents were arguing and screaming at each other.

What would it be like if you had to go to work and pretend to get along with a coworker or boss who had some kind of vendetta against you?

Without a doubt some are totally oblivious to the harmful effects of drama.

As I think back over the 2011 NFL football season there is a classic case of how drama damages a team.

The Cincinnati Bengals were absolutely horrible during the preseason.  At the time they were having contract disputes with one of their star quarterbacks.  Previous to that two other players continued to negatively effect the team with their own egotistical personal behaviors.

As a result, when the season started most analysts wrote the team off completely.  Why?  Because emotionally healthy people clearly understand that teams and organizations cannot overcome the type of dysfunctionalism that results from all the crazy drama.  In fact, many felt that the coach himself should probably go because the Bengals simply had too many deep issues in the organization.  Some predicted the team would likely win no more than two games.

By mid-September all three players were gone from the Bengals team.  

Guess what?  The drama was now gone.  And the team started winning football games.  When the season ended they had won enough games to get into the playoffs.  They did not need a new coach, they simply needed to get rid of the players who were creating all the drama and holding the team back.

Sounds simple.  Get rid of all the drama and get back to winning!

Bible Study In Depth

 

Reading Your Bible with a Study Bible

 

Bible Reading

 

Christmas and More

Christmas is a great time of year for many.  It's a fun time to give and receive gifts and spend time with our families.  However, somewhere along the way Christmas has turned into the Holiday of More.  I am not against having more, but getting more can get us into problems.  Rarely do we think more will cause more headaches for us. 

For the last few weeks we have been bombarded with advertisements, sales, and extra store hours so that we can pursue more.  Now I am all for whiter teeth, closer shaves, cleaner laundry, and discounted prices.

But do we really need more?  Lucifer thought he needed more and it led him to rebel against God.  Adam and Eve went after more when they ate from the tree.  Israel constantly wanted more.  Dissatisfaction ultimately led a downfall.

Yet how many of us contemplate the negatives of getting and striving for more and more.

In fact, one of the fascinating things about the holiday season is that right after Christmas we once again slam the stores in search of more sales.  The chase continues as we pursue even more.

More gets us into trouble.  The two biggest examples are debt and obesity. 

While things and stuff and toys and gadgets get all the attention there are at least three things we could use more of.

Family-It's fun to reconnect, share old stories, open presents, and sit around the dinner table.  Personally I'll miss seeing Rachel this year during the holidays.  When you have five kids schedules do not always work out, especially with her living in Pittsburgh.  Last Christmas she was in South Korea. 

Friends-This is popular time of year for parties and get togethers.  These can be extremely uplifting for those from broken homes. 

Faith-December is a good time to set aside extra time for prayer and reflection on Jesus, His birth and the Christmas Story, and the New Year, 2012. 

So this holiday season it's fine to buy and exchange gifts.  Yes, that will result in you having more.  But hopefully it will be more as the result of love and not covetousness.

 

 

Personal Failure and Success

While I recognize the benefits of personal failure there is a part of me who hates to see people fail. 

For instance, I hate seeing a kicker miss a field goal at the end of the game and watching the team lose.  Recently with all the media focused on Tim Tebow, many have escaped an inordinant amount of attention on their own failures. 

As an example, in the Chicago Bear-Denver Bronco game I was pulling for the Broncos.  What an incredible win they got.  But for the Bears, it was Marion Barber who made two costly, game losing mistakes.  Now, let me say as a fan, I am all for the opposing team messing up, getting penalties, and missing field goals.  But at the same time I feel bad when one particular player stands out as the reason for the loss.  I realize that other things can be pointed to, but it is the end of the game that gets all the attention.

So what did Barber do?  He ran out of bounds which stopped the clock.  Then in overtime he fumbled the football.  Two incredibly huge mistakes.  Ultimately it cost the Bears the game.

Perhaps you are thinking I am being schizophrenic.  I must be a wierd fan, because I felt bad for Barber, even though he was on the Bears team.  Is it possible to want the team to fail, the play to fail, without wanting to see a particular player fail?

I'm just not a fan of watching people fail.  But once again, I totally understand the value of personal failure.  We learn so much from out mistakes and failures.  Abraham Lincoln is known for years of personal failure, but ultimately he became one of our best presidents.

As much as I dislike the Dallas Cowboys being a Redskin fan, I was glad that Tony Romo did not make a game losing mistake.  And I do not like watching kickers miss last second field goals.  However, in the Cowboy loss the kick was partially blocked, and so really no one person was really at fault.

It can't be easy to be criticized for a personal failure.  Life is tough enough.  While personal failure is frustrating and at times humiliating, it truly can be life changing and a stepping stone to personal success. 

So while I have a disdain for watching people mess up, I love watching people succeed.  With that said, I guess I'll have to watch more people fail so I can watch more people can succeed.