Mike Henderson

Tiger and Trust (2)

Recently I commented about Tiger Woods' personal problems.  It appears that it may get worse.  Having been involved with a dozen women or more the last thing he needed was another question mark.

Now news has come out that has connected him with a doctor from Canada who has been associated with giving illegal performance enhancing drugs.  To be fair Tiger may have never taken any.

But just the association is raising quite a few eyebrows.  And usually where there is smoke there is fire.  If it were to be found to be true that Tiger took illegal performance enhancing drugs, Tiger's separation with 'Trust' would become a full-fledged divorce!

Right now his wife and a few sponsors do not trust him.  If things get worse, no one will trust him.

Tiger and Trust

Over the past several days the Tiger Woods story has taught us all a life long lesson, but the news has not focused on that but the sordid details instead.

The BIG story is about trust.  This was not about a one night stand (which by the way would also deal a serious blow to trust), or one stupid mistake, or even a lost temper.

This is about lying and cheating for a rather lengthy period of time even preceding the marriage.

While I am not a fan of divorce I realize Jesus allowed for divorce in the case of adultery (Matthew 19:1-9).  

I have had friends whose marriages were rocked by adultery. I have seen it destroy the marriage, and I have seen others go through the long process of forgiveness and rebuilding of trust.

In Tiger's case, due to the length of time involved surrounding his lying and unfaithfulness, my guess is it would be nearly impossible to rebuild the marriage.

Trust is huge.  Without trust you cannot have much of a relationship.  Lack of trust in any relationship whether in marriage or at work will lead to eventual deterioration and separation.

Tiger and Trust just separated.

Thankful for Companionship

While there is always much to be thankful for I wanted to focus on just one thing: companionship.

First of all, being a Christ follower brings a companionship that is hard to always quantify.  Jesus is always there and you can pray constantly throughout the day.  He provides strength, grace, and wisdom as we go through life.

Another companionship that I am thankful for is my parents and family.  With Carol out of town until Wednesday night, I took the kids, Heather, Adam, Savannah, and Gabe (Rachel is at college) over to my parents for dinner.  My parents are in town just of the holidays, but my mom had us over for dinner and we had a great time.

But at the top is Carol.  After 26 years of marriage companionship is huge.  LIfe is certainly different when she is gone which is not much.  However, she has made two trips to Philadelphia to accompany her sister who is undergoing cancer treatments.  So she has been gone about 10 days over the last two weeks.

Needless to say life would not be good if one of us traveled for a living.  Now we love to travel...together!  In fact we are getting ready to go away for a week.  Many ask "Where are you going?"

To me the destination is not that important.  The big deal is that we are together.  In fact, we are going places we have already been to.  It does not matter.  Companionship is the key.

So this thanksgiving season I am so thankful for companionship.

This Week

Carol left town Sunday to go with her sister to Philadelphia.  Her sister has cancer and they are at a cancer treatment center for the week.

That means I am operating at about 35%.  If you understand synergy you get why I did not say 50%. 

Monday night dinner was successful.  I barbecued some chicken and combined that with rice, broccoli, and mashed potatoes.  Don't feel sorry for me.  We all like peanut butter and jelly!

The upside is time flies so, Carol will be home before I know it. 

Gabe and I are planning to get 9 holes of golf in either Wednesday or Friday afternoon.

It's Tuesday so there are 4 days to go.  Glad time goes by quickly at times like this.  When Carol and I celebrate 26 years in a few days I want time to go by slowly.

Coming this Sunday

This is always a great topic.  You don't want to miss.

Locked Car

Today when I went to town I did it.  That is I locked by keys in the truck.  Fortunately for me the truck has a number keypad on the door and I was able to get right in.

Don't you wish relationships and marriage was like that.  Can you imagine hurting someone's feelings and just like that you were back 'in.'  Not two or three days later, but right away.  Life is definitely more complicated than that. 

In the current series 'Men and Women' as we talk about marriage I am sure we will cover instances that have 'locked the man out.'  I don't think wives get locked out that much.  After all, they have the trump card: sex.  Men think about it about 33 times a day.  It is a NEED!  Women can go without it, so us men have to do other things to get 'in' the 'locked' wife's whatever.  And that takes time.

Hopefully after this past Sunday's message you have a better idea of getting inside your 'locked car.'  If you missed the message here it is, The Deal Is Never Closed.

Little Things

I noticed Carol had put a couple of my tool rechargeable batteries on my side of the bed.

Actually I had left them in the bedroom in the floor by my side of the bed. Rather than fuss she just put them where I would have to move them. Now that was easy. My clutter frustrates her, so my job is to watch where I put my stuff.

Marriage is full of small give and takes. Rarely are there huge ones. Think back over the last few days. Did you have to give up or do something big? I doubt it. But in a healthy marriage there are small give takes constantly.

And when the small things happen regularly, there will rarely, if ever be the massive ups and downs. So do something small. Because small is huge.

In Charleston

Carol,Gabe, and I are spending the day with my parents. We are getting ready to visit my grandmother who will turn 95 this summer.

It's like my body does not know how to function when I literally don't have to do anything. Even though I brought a book and other reading material I am trying to create some distance.

One of hardest things for me to do is relax. Debated about running out to Starbucks. Did not go and now regret it. Not that I had to have a cup of coffee, but I love relaxing with a cup when I am out of town.

Also when I visit my mom she has an agenda of sorts. She wants to take us to a Magnolia Plantation. Nothing like trees and their blooms I guess. Hey, she's my mom and I will gladly go. She loves flowers and plantations.

I took some videos to show my grandmother. She enjoys everything. And Carol brought her a couple of books to read. She still reads a lot and reads her Bible every day.

Of course, even when relaxing my mind is constantly thinking about how we can more effectively make disciples.

Which reminds me you do not want to miss this Sunday. Relax before then and then come expecting a challenge!

45 Years Old

  Today is Carol's birthday.  Now you may be thinking, I can't believe he just told his wife's age.  You need to understand, I am almost 53, and she doesn't want anyone to think she is my age.  Yes, we are eight years apart, and she was only 19 when we got married.  Yes, I guess I like younger women.   But she is my best friend and has been my biggest cheerleader. 

  If I were going to give you a picture of a wife and mother who is devoted to her husband and family it would be her.

  Like me she is very task oriented and is very diligent in her work, at times just like me a little too diligent.

  Her prayer life reminds me that she is dependent upon God for those things beyond her control.

  She has a high sense of morality whether is be speech or dress.

  She has been the greatest thing that has happened to me in my life outside my relationship with Jesus Christ.  And next week we are going away for the week on a cruise to celebrate 25 years of marriage.  That means I will get to spend six days, Monday thru Saturday, with my best friend, the love of my life, and with the girl who blew me away the first time I saw her (and that hasn't changed).

  So to Carol, Happy Birthday.

When Kids Grow Up

  Tonight Rachel, my second oldest, comes home from college for Thanksgiving Break.  It's always fun to watch one of your kids grow up and watch your relationship evolve over time.  One thing that makes our relationship unique is her understanding of the ministry.  I recall reading from one of America's great pastor's, Perry Noble, say that even the staff could not understand what a senior pastor goes through (Now I must admit, my wife definitely gets it, but that's for another blog).  However, there are things Rachel and I can talk about that others simply would never get.  She has been in ministry with Young Life for a few years and we have talked alot.  So I always look forward to our time together.  (I'm sure we'll probably even watch a football game together.  I must admit, I thought for sure my passion for football would have passed on to more than just one out of five kids).

  Have you ever thought about how many people in your life you can actually talk to and they get it?  I mean, they understand the pressures, the emotions, the heartache, and the joys.  (As I reflect on the ministry and other jobs I have had here is one thing I know:  I have worked in construction and in retail and never had to deal with rejection until I entered the ministry).  On top of being able to understand you, they encourage you, lift you up, offer to help, and love to hang out with you.  Go ahead, count them.  Bet you did not even use all the fingers on one hand.  That's not necessarily a bad thing.  You are not going to have twenty close friends.  But it does make the close relationships even that much more special.  And so for the next week I plan to enjoy my time with Rachel and who knows what we will talk about?  Think I will just enjoy our time together.