Mike Henderson

One of Life's Most Uncomfortable Questions

Every week I have the opportunity to play basketball with guys much younger than me.  Because I have played sports since I was a kid there has always been some competiveness inside of me.

As I get older I often tell Carol that I when I can no longer keep up on the court I will hang up my basketball shoes.  Now that will be a tough day. Right now my goal is to be able to play until I'm sixty. Keep in mind most of the guys I play with are in their late twenties or thirties.

Fortunately for me I was blessed with some speed all my life.  Actually it was speed not skill that often kept me on a team.  

But the reality is as I age I will slow down.  And when the day comes that I can no longer keep up I will stop playing. 

Now think how uncomfortable that is.  How often does someone in the workplace approach their boss and admit that they are not keeping up?  How hard is it to approach someone and tell them they are no longer keeping up?  I still recall the days in steel erection where some guys just could not keep up and we had to let them go.

One day you and I will leave our jobs.  One day I will have to quit playing basketball.  One day you and I will have to stop driving our cars.

Those will be tough days.  But they are coming.  And yes, it will continue to be one of life's most difficult questions.

Am I still able to keep up? 

Don't Just Be Busy, Be Productive

I'm sure you have heard of people running around like a chicken with it's head cut off.  I have no picture of that, but I have killed chickens, and it is hilarious to watch them run around after their head is cut off. Eventually, they flop over. That's how many of us live our lives on a daily basis.  We run around all day, and then flop over exhausted in the evening.  

Think about it. Out of the eighty three things I did yesterday only five are absolutely necessary. Yes, it is true too often. We are busy, but often busy doing things that don't matter.  And it leaves us exhausted at day's end.

Jesus was never busy, never in a hurrry.  Right.  You and I are not Jesus.  But I bet each of know and can identify the things that really matter.

Here are my big five.  Number 21 or 37 on my list of things probably doesn't matter.  These five do.

1. Prayer.  I cannot expect to survive and thrive apart from prayer.  We kid ourselves if we think we can do life apart from God and His divine help.  Also under prayer I would include any of the spiritual disciplines like fasting, giving, Bible reading, solitude, etc.

2. Preparation. For me this is the time I spend preparing messages.  This includes reading, listening to other speakers, and searching the Bible for timeless principles to share.

3. Preaching.  The actual delivery of the message is huge.  I learned a long time ago that a great delivery void of good content is well received, and a bad delivery with good content is not well received. I try to have good content, but I know I cannot overlook the delivery.

4. People.  Ministry is about people, so I carve time out for people.  I may meet two days one week and six days the following week with people.  The point is people are important.

5. Personal.  This is somewhat of a catch all.  This category includes things like time with Carol.  If my marriage is suffering then my life and ministry are going to suffer as well.  There is no way I can afford to overlook this. Also, I connect with my kids regularly.  I may text Heather, talk with Rachel, text and talk with Savannah, have a long discussion with Adam, and play golf with Gabe.  And I must get regular exercise. For me this includes playing full court basketball with younger guys, push mowing part of the lawn, hiking with Carol, and lifting weights.

Go ahead, identify and list your five or six things.  Get those done and when you lay your head down tonight you will be more satisfied and feel more productive.

 

Doesn't God Care?

When I was about three or four years old my mother took all four (four at the time) of the kids with her to the store.  The only problem was that when she left, she left me standing on the sidewalk.

Now that was in the day when you could leave your child alone and he would be perfectly safe.  At any rate, she soon realized that she had left one. Hey, remembering three out of four is not bad, unless it is you who is left behind.

When she arrived back on the crime scene, there I was crying.  I was so young I do not recall the incident, however I am sure it accounts for some of my behavorial idosyncrasies today.

Let's fast forward to adulthood.  We still don't want to be left behind or left out.  There was a time in Israel's history when they thought God had forgotten about them.  

In fact, the pain was so great that in the 80th Psalm the Psalmist repeated himself three times (verse 3 is repeated times).

Psalm 80:1-3 

¹ Please listen, O Shepherd of Israel,
    you who lead Joseph’s descendants like a flock.
O God, enthroned above the cherubim,
    display your radiant glory
²     to Ephraim, Benjamin, and Manasseh.
Show us your mighty power.
    Come to rescue us!

³ Turn us again to yourself, O God.
    Make your face shine down upon us.
    Only then will we be saved.

The historical context in not certain.

Perhaps Israel is about to be invaded by the Assyrian army, or it may be in the past. Either way Israel was in trouble.  And as human nature is they felt forgotten and abandoned by God.  

Well, that is exactly what Israel is praying.  In fact, verse 3 is repeated three times in the Psalm.  Three times!  This is an impassioned plea for God's attention.

As I stood crying on the sidewalk, I suppose that was my way of saying, "Mom, please turn around and rescue me.  And when you are in trouble you will repeatedly ask God to turn around, smile with favor upon you, and rescue you from your trouble.

Yes, you will feel abandoned at times.  But just because you cannot see God does not mean He does not care.  He'll show up.  Just keep looking.

Things Go Better 'Without' God

Actually that's not true, but we act like it is true.  When I was a kid I used to always take the onions off of a McDonald's cheeseburger.  In my mind, it was better without the onions.  

Even today, when Carol makes an incredible fresh salad, she loves to put lots of fresh onion slices on top. Lots. I have nothing against onions today, but I do have a problem with lots at one time.  Actually I prefer to reduce the amount so that I can avoid the strong taste of onions.

Sometimes that's the way we treat God.  We either take Him totally out of the picture or reduce Him so much that He can't make a difference.

Let me list two ways we do this.

1. We fail to search the Scriptures and see what God has to say.  Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV) says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

2. We seek the wisdom of others and neglect going to the Lord in prayer when our life spins out of control.  King Asa did this very thing.  2 Chronicles 16:12 (NASV), "In the thirty-nineth year of his reign Asa became diseased in his feet.  His disease was severe, yet even in his disease he did not seek the LORD, but the physicians."  Amazing.  There is nothing wrong with going to the doctor, but why ignore God during a time of incredible pain, any kind of personal, physical, or emotional pain?

In both instances, reducing or ignoring God clearly does not lead to a better outcome. As for lots of fresh onions on a salad, Carol thinks the onions make it.  On the spiritual side, the Bible is clear, things go better when God is not reduced or completely left out.     

Go through life with God.  You'll be glad you did.  

Criticism Helps...After It Hurts

Let's face it.  Very few of us are asking for "negative" feedback or what is better known as criticism.

After all, it hurts.  But it helps.  It is also difficult to get at times.  And way too much criticism is worthless.

Everyone has an opinion about everything, but most opinions are based on preferences, politics, or people.

As an example, when it comes to people, Charles Barkley recently leveled some public criticism against Michael Jordan, the king of basketball.

Sure, Barkley always has an opinion, but he was spot on with his recent rant.

Barkley simply stated that those closest to Michael would not speak up and be honest. After all, Michael is paying all their bills and picking up the tab regularly.

In other words, because Jordan is held in such high esteem no one around him wants to offer any criticism, or helpful feedback.  That's sad.

Over the last few weeks those closet to me, Carol, Savannah, and Adam, have all offered some criticism about my public speaking.  

And I'm so thankful, because it was so helpful.  Did it hurt?  Sure.  But I knew they were right and wanted me to get better.  Don't we all want to get better?  I hope so.

The Cost of Financial Illiteracy

Let's be honest.  Who among us has not made a boneheaded financial mistake?  Too often it was because we were stung by the power of now.  We simply could not wait, and our impatience led to a financially dumb decision.

While I have made my share, let me take you back in time, about thirty years ago.  While working for my dad we had a guy working for us named Larry.  He had been with the company for a while and was very dependable.  As a result he eventually got a company truck, which meant he no longer had to buy gas, tires, insurance, brakes, and whatever other expenses a typical truck owner incurrred.

As I recall he was making $9 an hour.  Thirty years ago that was not too bad, plus throw in the truck.

My guess is that Larry wanted to make a little more money so he went shopping.  A competitor offered him $9.50 an hour.  That translates into $20 for a forty hour work week.  Or $1,000 more a year in take home pay, or should I say before the taxes come out.  Add up federal, state, and FICA taxes and he probably added $750 to what he took home in a year.

He took the $9.50 and left to work for the other company.  That day I realized many people are really bad at third grade math.  By third grade they typically teach you how to add and subtract.

So let's do a little addition and subtraction.

Let's start by taking away the company truck.  That one subtraction item alone will now add the following expenses to his personal account.

Because I can't recall the price of gas, let's just say it was $1 a gallon.  Yes, those days actually existed.  I forgot to mention, he lived in Winchester, VA.  That means he is driving at least fifty miles one way to work as most of the work was around the Beltway which circles Washington, DC.  That comes out to one hundred miles a day, five hundred miles a week, and at twenty miles to a gallon we arrive at using twenty-five gallons a week.  We are now up to an additional $25 in expenses a week just in gas alone.  Hello $.50 raise, good-bye $.50 raise and I'll raise my personal expenses $5 a week ($20-$25= -$5).

Whoa!  So Larry just took a pay cut of $5 a week and we have not yet added in the cost of brakes, oil changes, insurance, and tires.  Even if all of our estimates are conservative Larry will be spending an additional $1,000 out of his pocket.  Also consider that those expenses come after he pays his personal income taxes.  In other words, to pay the additional $1,000 in expenses, he must make an additional $1,200, because $200 (probably more) will be eaten up in taxes.

Add, subtract, and think through this.  Larry was looking to make more money, but wound up going in the hole at least $1,500 in a year's time.  And that is a very conservative calculation.

Now making $20 more a week seems like a small decision.  For Larry he thought it was going to put him on the road to prosperity.  However, a bad case of financial illiteracy put him in the hole, big time.

At the end of the day financial illiteracy will cost you. 

 

 

 

Picking Painful People

Who of us hasn't picked the wrong person?  Even Jesus had Judas on His team.  Now Jesus did not make a mistake, but in the end Judas caused Jesus great emotional pain.

With that in mind, why do we succumb to picking people who in the end simply do not work out?  Here are some lessons I learned on the baseball field in high school.  Yes, I made an error more than once when picking teammates.  Perhaps you can identify, because these three lessons play out in real life all the time.

Three things stand out:

1. Pressure.  Let's face it.  If someone is your friend you feel pressured to pick them, even if you are not sure they can hit the ball.  And then it happens.  At the critical moment, your friend strikes out.  Yes, that's painfull.

2. Productivity.  In high school we had a new guy move to town.  Being new I guess he felt like he could snow us, and he did.  He talked about all his great expoits, so we picked him, because quite frankly, we felt like he could deliver the goods.  He flaunted a great resume, but at the end of the day he could not produce on the ball field.

3. Prejudice.  This is all about assumptions.  We get in a hurry and look for the most promising person.  After all, they look the part.  They dress right, talk right, and look right.  At the end of the day we make our decision based on outward appearances, and we miss the Davids in life.  David went on to kill Goliath, however, on the front end, he did not look the part.  So much for our prejudices or faulty assumptions.

No one is immune from making an error on the baseball field or in life.  But if we take heed to these three errors we can avoid a lot of emotional pain that comes from picking painful people.

 

What is a Win?

What is a win?  Everyone at some point must identify what success is for him or her personally.  

 

 

 

Personal Failure and Success

While I recognize the benefits of personal failure there is a part of me who hates to see people fail. 

For instance, I hate seeing a kicker miss a field goal at the end of the game and watching the team lose.  Recently with all the media focused on Tim Tebow, many have escaped an inordinant amount of attention on their own failures. 

As an example, in the Chicago Bear-Denver Bronco game I was pulling for the Broncos.  What an incredible win they got.  But for the Bears, it was Marion Barber who made two costly, game losing mistakes.  Now, let me say as a fan, I am all for the opposing team messing up, getting penalties, and missing field goals.  But at the same time I feel bad when one particular player stands out as the reason for the loss.  I realize that other things can be pointed to, but it is the end of the game that gets all the attention.

So what did Barber do?  He ran out of bounds which stopped the clock.  Then in overtime he fumbled the football.  Two incredibly huge mistakes.  Ultimately it cost the Bears the game.

Perhaps you are thinking I am being schizophrenic.  I must be a wierd fan, because I felt bad for Barber, even though he was on the Bears team.  Is it possible to want the team to fail, the play to fail, without wanting to see a particular player fail?

I'm just not a fan of watching people fail.  But once again, I totally understand the value of personal failure.  We learn so much from out mistakes and failures.  Abraham Lincoln is known for years of personal failure, but ultimately he became one of our best presidents.

As much as I dislike the Dallas Cowboys being a Redskin fan, I was glad that Tony Romo did not make a game losing mistake.  And I do not like watching kickers miss last second field goals.  However, in the Cowboy loss the kick was partially blocked, and so really no one person was really at fault.

It can't be easy to be criticized for a personal failure.  Life is tough enough.  While personal failure is frustrating and at times humiliating, it truly can be life changing and a stepping stone to personal success. 

So while I have a disdain for watching people mess up, I love watching people succeed.  With that said, I guess I'll have to watch more people fail so I can watch more people can succeed.

 

God's Presence Makes a Difference

This past weekend Carol and Savannah were in Pittsburgh for a wedding.  Carol has five nephews and nieces living there and this was the fifth.

While she was gone I worked on a couple of projects, studied, read, preached at New Hope, and connected with a few people.

However, while I functioned in a fairly normal way, life was different.  Life was missing something.  In this case it was easy to identify.  Carol was missing, she was out of town.

Now you may be thinking, "Well, that's rather obvious."  The reason you think that is because she is a physical, tangible person.

But here is the point.  I still functioned.  I still did life.  I still enjoyed watching football and going to church.

However, if she had been present life would have been richer and more fulfilling.  Her presence matters.

Now if her presence matters, what about God's presence?  Many go through life without God being a part.  Some function very well and do life as if they do not need God. 

But what if He were present in their lives?  Does their day job then become more fulfilling?  Does their family life enjoy a higher level of satisfaction?  Are their times of recreation more replenishing?

I can't answer all those questions with a numerical number or percentage.  I can't give any hard and fast data.  On the other hand I could quote numerous Scripture, but if I can detect a difference when Carol is gone, surely God's presence makes a difference!