Mike Henderson

Critics

Over the past couple of months much has been written about and posted on the web on the topic of criticism.

One post was written by Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson publishers.

Another post was put up by Jason Curlee.  

Both posts are excellent so no need to duplicate what they so well said.

However, I did want to add some things that I have observed also.

One is that most critics are hurt-full.  That is they are full of hurt, so they retaliate.  For instance, if you have a bad day at work what do you do?  You come home and kick the dog, if you have one.  The point is you are full of hurt from work and are taking it out on someone else.

Another observation has been critics tend to be care-less.  They really don't care.  They just want to vent. They are not interested in seeing a solution, they simply want to chime in.

Finally, they tend to be cantankerous.  Rather than be kind they fall on the side of anger and mean-spiritedness.

At the end of the day most critics probably are clueless.  They have no idea how they are coming across. And they are unaware of all the necessary information that is needed to offer helpful criticism.  Of course lack of that information never stopped a critic.  One quick example.  I was watching the Giant-Charger football game and was critical of the Giant coaching at the end of the game.  Then on ESPN radio I heard former great Viking Chris Carter break it down in a way I had not thought.  Without going into details I realized that I needed to soften my criticism.  Lesson learned.

So why all the writing on critics?  I guess no one is immune.  Whether you are a team leader at work, a manager, a boss, a CEO, or owner you will be receiving criticism on a regular basis, and you must understand criticism and know how to handle it.

Drama in the Church

Over the past couple of weeks a common theme has popped up on Twitter, blogs, conferences, and personal conversations.  That theme has centered around complaining, criticism, and drama in the church.

Just this past week I was able to spend some time at Elevation Church in Charlottte, NC where pastor Steven Furtick and Perry Noble of New Spring Church in Anderson SC both addressed the topic.  In fact, Perry mentioned that he had just returned from a week in counseling in Colorado. He said that only 10% of those in ministry will retire in ministry.  Wow!  We must ask why.

Also, some have written about C.A.V.E. dwellers in the church.  Those are people who are Consistently Against Virtually Everything.

Now here's where it hit me recently.  I invited a friend in the area to New Hope.  I have not known this person long, but they are not in church.  Why?  This individual grew up in church where her father was the pastor.  But then she said, "There was always drama in the church."

So let me get this straight.  Because someone or some group of people had to have things their way and as a result created drama in the church a pastor is out of the ministry and his kids no longer go.

That's just plain sad!  Somewhere people in the church have gotten sidetracked in between the Great Commission (reaching others) and Burger King (have it your way).

The result: Drama in the church, church attenders dropping out, pastors quitting the ministry, and lost people not being found.

That's troubling.

When we should be encouraging (1 Thess. 5:12-13), or esteeming very highly pastors and evangelizing lost people, we are engaging in drama in the church.

Something Missing

Recently I was out of town and stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.  I tend to like that particular chain.  The price is economical, their breakfast contains the necessary fiber, protein, and the popular cinnamon bun.

One problem.  There were no cinnamon buns.  What's up with that?  Now I am sure not everyone missed what was missing, but don't you hate it when you go somewhere and expect something and it's not there?

When I think of New Hope, I try to process things thru the same grid.  People come expecting some things and if what they are looking for they will be disappointed.  

Now obviously we can't provide everything.  For instance, we do not observe the Lord's Supper every week. For some that would be missing a crucial element.

While you could go crazy trying to 'have everything' someone could expect, we have simplified it a little.

Every week we do not want to be missing a welcoming atmosphere, heartfelt worship, or an encouraging message.  Also, we want the kids to have fun and learn something from the Bible.  Those are the things we don't want to have missing.

We could also include things like excellence, harmony, and order.  I mention things like that because if you were to go to Lowe's you may not think going in 'I hope to get help in an orderly fashion,' but if it is missing you will notice.

One of our goals every week is to not miss anything.

T.H.I.N.K.

Proverbs 25:11-The right word spoken at the right time is as beautiful as gold apples in a silver bowl. Words are powerful.  But who hasn't said the wrong thing at the wrong time or in the wrong way?

Is there a way to run our words through some type of grid before we actually say them?

Let's use the following acrostic.

True - Is it true?  Not everything that is true needs to be said.  I mean if someone asks you, "Does this dress make me look fat?" you may be wise not to answer with a quick 'yes.'  Just saying.

Helpful - Is it helpful?  Now to be honest sometimes the truth is not helpful.  It is already well established and will only cause defensiveness.

Important - Is it important?  Sometimes our motives are questionable.  Perhaps you are on the way to church and you mention to your wife that some of the bills were paid late.  This past Sunday we talked about money at New Hope, so the topic of bills is important.  But not on the way to church.  Not very helpful at that time.  And not important at that particular time either.

Necessary - If during the course of a conversation between several people, let's say the topic is marital satisfaction.  For someone to mention a troubled marriage that all were familiar with would be totally unnecessary.

Kind - Let's take the last illustration a step further.  To name drop another couple would not be kind.

If some were to take the advice, "If you cannot say anything nice don't say anything at all," you would think they were preparing for a major singing performance...they would go silent for days!

The counsel to 'think before you speak' can be helpful if you take the time to T.H.I.N.K.

Motivation

This afternoon Heather and Adam, two of my kids, went on a cleaning rampage.  When kids clean, look out. When two clean, that's a great day.

Well, I couldn't just watch.  I became motivated to take finish a project that would aid the cleaning in the garage.

My point.  If my kids had not been cleaning I would not have done anything either.  So how much does not get done simply because you and I are not doing anything?  

If someone else's motivation is dependent on us, how much goes undone because we don't move into action?

What do you need to do?  What might you do that will inspire and motivate others to action.  Paul told Timothy once to be an example in things like purity, faith, and in love (1 Timothy 4:12).

Over the next few days take note, see if you can identify something you do that motivates another into action.

One Act

On a regular basis we either overestimate or underestimate the word 'one.'  Here is what I mean. Just one break can lead to a breakthrough, on the other hand just one sin, slip, or statement can derail a career or relationship.

So why do we continue to devalue 'one?'

One outburst of anger will be remembered.

One word will uplift or destroy.

One sexual sin can devastate with lots of collateral damage.

One event can change your life.

One championship can mark your career.

One best-selling book can launch a profitable writing career.

One idea can change an industry.

One statement can come back and haunt you years later.

One play can change the outcome of a ball game.

ONE.  You don't always know when the 'one' is coming.  But life is all about lots of little things that make up the big thing.  So let's put more value on 'one.'  

Building a House

Recently I went  to You Tube to look at a video on installing a chain link fence. I was unable to find one. Never found one, but I didn't really need one.  I just wanted to watch one. 

Then it dawned on me that I should do a video on building a house.  I have built three to live in. My criteria for finding property is a little strange.  In fact, before buying our current property, I had seven criteria. And the property met all seven.

I looked at the way the sun hit the property, the number of trees, the slope, and the size. The reason for all those was because I knew exactly how I wanted to use the property.  Sometimes I think we make decisions without thinking about what the final product should look like.  I even wanted the master bedroom on the east side of the property.  Call me eccentric.

Even if we are not building a house, we are building something.  A relationship, a retirement, a marriage, or a business. If I went to You Tube could I find a video that you have put together that would show me how?

Now I am not suggesting you go out and make a video, but could you?  What are you building?

Just God

Reggie Joiner made a comment recently where he said, "Sometimes there is no solution; there is just God." This past week I preached a message about the apostle Paul's 'thorn in the flesh.'

There were at least three occasions or seasons of life where Paul prayed and ask God to remove it and God's reply was "No Dice."  Not exactly what Paul or any of us want to hear.

So how do we respond?  That's what I talked about this past weekend.  Carve out 30 minutes and go to New Hope to watch it. 

Setting the Example

This past week one of the football players that I had written about earlier made the headlines again.  This time it was not for a bad attitude.

In fact, in the last few weeks after rejoining the team Brandon Marshall has admitted his poor attitude and has been a model player.  His coach has said that he has been a joy to work with.

In the New Testament we see a similar story in the life of Mark.  At one time he bailed on the apostle Paul. Later Paul was unwilling to work with him.  However, at the end of Paul's life we find them both on the same team.

Stories like that always inspire me and I try to never burn a bridge because I don't know what God has planned down the road.

You can't go wrong when you set the example.

Lessons from Cinnamon Buns

On Friday we had several guests over to the house who had attended the U2 concert on Thursday night. One was Carol's cousin and they were all from the D.C. area.  My daughter Heather made some cinnamon buns. After eating about 4-5 I thought it would be good to cut back.  In fact I was thinking what can I do to offset all those extra calories.

So for the rest of the day I cut way back.  Even did some push mowing. But to be honest I would probably need to run 10 miles, jump rope for 10 minutes, and do box jumps for 10 minutes. That's a lot of work for a few cinnamon buns. They sure were good though.

Isn't that how life works?  If you make a negative comment towards someone it will take about 10 positives to overcome the negativity.

If you visit a pornographic web site, it will take more than 10 minutes of prayer or 10 minutes of Bible reading to overcome that.  Visual images are much more powerful.

So before you dabble in something remember the lesson from the cinnamon bun.